EL PASO, TX----
El Paso Saddleblanket owner Dusty Henson today announced a special shopping event for naturalists (nudists) at his eastside store where
prior activities have been held for dog lovers, Indian stuff fans, left-handed people, and those of different astrological signs, among
others.
"We thought we'd sneak in this special shopping day for nudists before it gets too cold. It's tough to shop when the nipples chill up and the willies kind of dive for cover," Henson said.
Naturalists will be provided an area to disrobe at the entrance of the store, and shop at their leisure, "though they'll need to tuck their credit cards or cash away where they can easily retrieve it at check-out.
"It should be a great event," said Henson, "and one of the few where we won't have to be alert for shoplifters, except for small items."
The aggressive retailer also has plans on the calendar for sales events to attract people who are married to their cousins (1st or 2nd), "Two-for-One for Bald People" day, "Use Your Stolen Credit
Card" day, and a special "My Name Is Maria---Give Me 20% Off" sales event where everyone who can prove that their name is "Maria" will get 20% off while supplies last.
Henson also hopes to have a "Your Portrait on Black Velvet" weekend before Christmas where over a dozen Mexican artists will be available to paint patron's images on black velvet with either Jesus, Elvis or Mickey Mouse for $30 buck each (frame extra $2).
